Inner beauty versus outer beauty: How to shine differently

As women, we are constantly editing our life experiences in order to live up to certain standards. But these standards are always self-imposed.

Many of us live in fear of looking untrendy, appearing too thin, too overweight, too curvy…but all these negatives actually stand in the way of us having life-enriching experiences. Of allowing us to live our best lives.


When hearing the word 'beauty', it is not uncommon for most of us to automatically think about the physical self. Equating 'beauty' to our bodily attributes. But this is a grave misnomer. 

We all take the time to look after our bodies, but how often do you actually spend on your own inner-self care?

Even in this day and age, us women can still be constrained by how we look. We are still conditioned into believing that our base worth and our value rests on our outer appearance and how other people perceive us.

We have been raised on a diet of complying to an elusive external standard of beauty and perfection. We continue to tether ourselves to these expectations, but these simply serve to limit our capacity for self-acceptance and finding an enrichment of self.

This cultural obsession with outer perfection can destroy our ability to live life to the fullest.

How often are you distracted about how you look in your bikini? Worried about angling or posing yourself instead of focussing your attention on the moment at hand?

Would you rather dive fully into life and soak up those precious moments or continue to dwell on the unattainable pursuit for perfection?

Next time you find yourself in a situation where you are mentally beating yourself down then think:

1. What would you say to the other women in your life?

Would you say these things to another person? If not, then don’t say them to yourself! Show your inner self the same respect and value that you would give to others.

2. Value and validate yourself

Your confidence doesn’t come from other peoples’ validation. Nor does it start from the reflection in a mirror. Don't let your mind bully your body - fill your own cup with value and kindness.

3. Shift your focus

Next time you are focusing on physical hang-ups, engage your senses and shift your focus. What is right in front of you? What are you missing out on by worrying over other people's expectations? By shifting your focus it enables you to be more present in the moment and to live your experiences to the fullest.


"You have been criticising yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." Louise Hay